Confession: I really hate cream cheese frosting.

When I found this recipe for a red velvet dessert with white chocolate buttercream, I was ecstatic.  Typically all things red velvet have cream cheese frosting which I usually make and just opt out of eating the final results.  This actually is probably much better for my waistline and helps to counteract the copious amounts of chocolate I’ve been sneaking from my pantry.

These brownies are good for your soul, I promise.  I have been having a rough few weeks and after eating one of them (and lets be honest, the crumbs that fell off of them while they were cooling), I immediately felt better.

The extreme sweetness of the frosting pairs very well with the richness of the brownie.  They’re pretty easy to make too, but don’t be an idiot like me and dump them right out of the oven onto the wire cooling rack.  Thank goodness frosting will cover any mistakes of broken or cracked brownies

Red Velvet Brownies with White Chocolate Frosting
recipe from How Sweet Eats

Ingredients
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1-½ cups sugar
2 eggs, at room temperature
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1-¼ cups all purpose flour
¼ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons + 1 teaspoon cocoa powder
¼ teaspoon red or rose colored food gel**
⅔ cup chocolate chips or chunks

Directions
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.  Butter an 8 x 8 cake pan and line with parchment paper.  Butter the parchment paper.

In a large bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, and salt.  Whisk together until well combined and set aside.

In a bowl, cream butter and sugar with an electric mixer until light and fluffy.  Add in eggs one at a time, then the vanilla and beat until well incorporated.  Turn off the mixture and add in the food gel.  At a very slow speed, mix in the food gel and once incorporated beat at a high speed for another minute or two.  Stir in the flour mixture until well combined, but do not over mix.  Gently stir in the chocolate chips.

Spread in pan and cut off any excess parchment paper that is hanging over.  Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until cake tester comes out clean.  Let cool completely before frosting.

White Chocolate Frosting

Ingredients
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2-½ cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 to 2 tablespoons milk
4 ounces of good quality white chocolate, melted and cooled (I used Gharadelli)

Directions

Cream butter with an electric mixer until light and fluffy, then add the vanilla.  Add the powdered sugar with the mixer at low speed.  Once incorporated, pour in the white chocolate.  Mix slowly at first, and then beat on high speed for a minute or two.  Add the milk starting with one tablespoon until you reach your desired consistency.  If the frosting becomes to loose, add additional powdered sugar.

**If you don’t have food gel, click the link to the original recipe because it gives instructions how to make the brownies with regular food dye.  I prefer to use food gel because it gives a much more intense color.  I actually used rose-colored food gel because I was out of red.

I really genuinely like fruit, however I really hate cleaning fruit.  I know this sounds stupid because I love cooking therefore cleaning fruit should be a pretty simple task in comparison, but I find it boring and tedious.  Often I end up not eating the raspberries or strawberries in my fridge because I have yet to rinse them and that would just require too much effort.

That happened to a poor pint of raspberries in my fridge this week.  I noticed them sitting there last night just about to pass their point of ripeness and wondered what I should do with them.  I had just finished dinner so I definitely wasn’t hungry, but I knew if I waited till the morning, they probably would not be good anymore.

Then I had an idea to make them into a reduction sauce.

I was going to drizzle the reduction sauce over some cupcakes, but I realized I was tired and didn’t want to wait for the cupcakes to cool and frost them, so I came up with plan B.

More scones.

I know, you’re probably sick of scones, but I wouldn’t keep making them if they weren’t so delicious.  You really need to make these ones, because they might actually be the best ones yet.

Or just come to my house and eat all of the scones I keep making so my pants will still fit me next week, that works too.

Raspberry Dark Chocolate Scones
yields 8 scones

Ingredients
2 pints of fresh raspberries (or you could probably use half bag of frozen)
1 ½ cups flour
¼ cup sugar
1 ¼ teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
5 tablespoons cold butter (I recommend keeping it in the fridge right until you use it)
½ cup of buttermilk
½ teaspoon vanilla
½ cup of dark chocolate chips
1 cup of powdered sugar
1 to 2 tablespoons milk

Directions
In a small sauce pan, cook raspberries on medium heat until they break apart.  Using a small wire mesh strainer, separate the seeds and the juice.  Pour the juice back in the pan and simmer on low heat until half reduce.  Set aside to cool.
Pre-heat oven to 425.

In a large bowl, combine your dry ingredients.  Cut the butter or gently rub it into the flour until it is in tiny size pieces about the size of a pea.

In a liquid measure cup with the buttermilk, whisk in half of the raspberry reduction and vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the buttermilk mixture.  Gently stir together just until the dough forms.  Pour in the chocolate chips and gently mix into the dough.  If they don’t stick into the dough completely, you can just press them in while forming the scones.

On a well floured surface, dump the dough and gently press into a circle.  Cut into 8 scones (I cut it like a pizza) and place on the baking sheet.  Dust with some fine sugar if desired.

Bake scones for 12 to 14 minutes or until just golden brown.  Remove from baking sheet and let cool on a wire rack.

To form glaze, take the rest of the reduction and combine with powdered sugar.  It will be kind of “clumpy.”  Add in a tablespoon of milk until the glaze becomes smooth.  It should still remain very thick, but you should be able to drizzle the glaze.  Add more powdered sugar or milk if necessary to create desired consistency.  Drizzle over the scones.

While I am beyond thankful and happy to be done with school, I am also completely freaking out that I am not in school for the first time in eighteen years.  Today was the first day of classes for the spring semester at UAlbany and I kept thinking that I was accidentally skipping class even though I have graduated and my diploma was mailed to me.

I feel lost and confused.  I do not have any idea what I want to do right now.  I think I need a major change or maybe just a real job.  A part of me is dying to travel, but I have absolutely no money so that seems to be out of the question.  I don’t have to stay in Albany and while I adore my friends and parents, I really have no ties keeping me here.  No serious job, no boyfriend, no school, why am I still here?

I don’t know.

I do a lot of baking lately.  Its the only thing that makes me feel normal. I feel like everyone is watching me and wondering what is my next move.  I feel like people watch me and wonder what I’m doing with my life.  I feel like I have a post-it on my forehead that I’m some crazy girl with lots of issues that scares people away.  I feel like I’m closed off and not capable of allowing myself to be loved by someone.  I feel like I don’t have a direction.

Mostly, I just feel confused.

Hence the post-college freak-out I have every day.

However, these moments of crazy do allow me to create something beautiful.

Magnolia Bakery Vanilla Cupcakes with Chocolate Buttercream Frosting
yields 24 cupcakes
recipe from Food Network

Ingredients
2 ¾ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
4 large eggs, at room temperature
1 cup whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and line two muffin tins with baking liners.

In small bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt.  Set aside.  In liquid measuring cup, combine vanilla and milk.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream the butter until smooth.  Add the sugar and mix in slowly.  Once fully incorporated, beat on medium speed until fluffy (about 3 minutes). Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each one.  Add the dry ingredients in three parts alternating with milk and vanilla mixture.  Scrape down sides as necessary and do not overbeat the mixture.  Evenly distribute batter among the 24 muffin tins, they should each be about ¾ full.  Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until the cake tester comes out clean.

Cool the cupcakes in tins for about 5 to 10 minutes and then remove to wire rack.  Let completely cool before frosting.

Chocolate Buttercream Frosting

2 sticks softened butter
5 cups powdered sugar
¼ cup cocoa powder
¼ to ½ cup room temperature water
1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine cocoa powder and water, it should be liquid and not chunky. In standing electric mixer, combine powdered sugar and butter until just combined.  Add in chocolate liquid and vanilla.  Start mixing slowly, and once fully incorporated, beat on high until light and fluffy (about 4 to 6 minutes).  Pipe as desired.

***

I need to stop have a post-college crisis.

I think I’ll just go eat cupcakes instead.

On Sunday, I went to a brunch hosted by the lovely Jen, with Alicia and Melissa, as well as Jen’s sister.  We all brought something to eat, and originally I had planned on making cinnamon chip scones since I had received some great feedback on them.  Unfortunately, I realized the morning of the brunch that I had no cinnamon chips and I was going to have to improvise.  I had some oranges on hand and thought that dark chocolate chips would taste wonderful with them.

Everyone at the brunch seemed to loved them, as well as my friends who I gave some of the leftovers to eat.  They are flaky and not at all dry, as well as super easy to make!

You don’t even need an electric hand mixer, just a bowl, a wooden spoon, and your hands

Orange Dark Chocolate Chip Scones
makes 8 scones

Ingredients
1 ½ cups flour
¼ cup sugar
1 ¼ teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons cold butter (I recommend keeping it in the fridge right until you use it)
½ cup of butter milk
1 to 2 medium to large sized oranges
½ teaspoon vanilla
½ cup of dark chocolate chips
1 cup of powdered sugar

Directions
Pre-heat oven to 425.

In a large bowl, combine your dry ingredients.  Cut the butter or gently rub it into the flour until it is in tiny size pieces about the size of a pea.

In a liquid measure cup with the buttermilk, zest and juice half of the orange then stir in the vanilla.

Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour in the buttermilk mixture.  Gently stir together just until the dough forms.  Pour in the chocolate chips and gently mix into the dough.  If they don’t stick into the dough completely, you can just press them in while forming the scones.

On a well floured surface, dump the dough and gently press into a circle.  Cut into 8 scones (I cut it like a pizza) and place on the baking sheet.  Dust with some fine sugar if desired.

Bake scones for 12 to 14 minutes or until just golden brown.  Remove from baking sheet and let cool on a wire rack.

To form glaze, squeeze the rest of the juice from the orange and add about ½ teaspoon of orange zest.  Mix in powdered sugar.  The glaze should be very thick, but thin enough to drizzle from a spoon.  Add a bit more orange juice if necessary.

We have lucked out with no snow for awhile, but the winter had finally seemed to hit upstate New York in the past few days I can’t complain too much, we had so much snow at this time last year that this little bit is really nothing.

I hope you all have a wonderful week and stay warm! <3

I wrote them out with sincere hopes and dreams of completing them but in my heart, I did not actually believe I could do it.

Then a funny thing happened, I began to care about myself.  I began to realize that I matter.  I began to see that I needed to do these things not because they were New Year’s Resolutions, but because my health (both mental and physical) was at stake and that is not something you mess around with at age twenty-one.

My approach to weight loss has always been simple, eat less and you lose weight.  Honest to god, that is the real truth.  Its not eating green smoothies, its not taking supplements, its not working out for 6 hours a day, and its certainly not starving yourself either.  It is eating less.  As simple as this philosophy may seem, it is not always as simple to do in practice.

As I’ve noted before, I’m an emotional eater.  I will eat because I feel bad, sad, upset, happy, giddy, etc.  Give me a reason to eat and I will do it.  Learning to cope with my emotions in different ways has been difficult but I have been doing pretty well for the most part.  Yes, there are always still days where I sit and eat chocolate by myself while watching a sappy movie (Pride and Prejudice anyone?), but that is who I am.  The difference is that I’m not doing this every day of my life.

This year past year, I completely changed my life.
What did I do this year? I:

• switched into a major that I absolutely loved, despite being “impractical”
• raised my gpa from a 3.02 to a 3.34 in two semesters and summer session
• became active and started walking a lot more
• started taking a hot yoga class every week that I love so much and makes me feel so much better
• lost 37 pounds
• was cleared from having to go on any medication for high cholesterol, high HDL, and other scary healthy problems that were a reality for me in 2010
• realized that my love for cooking and baking far outweighs academics
• discovered amazing friends and people who make me feel better and don’t bring me down
• officially have $0 in debt (thanks mostly due to my parents helping me, love you <3)

Yes, those things I accomplished for the most part fit in with New Year’s Resolutions that I made last January 2011, but the truth is that I did those things because I made a change within myself.  I realized that I needed to take control of my life.  None of it really came from stupid New Years Resolutions.  January is just another month and 2012 is just another year for me to continue to do things that make me happy.

I am not a long-term goal setter in general.  I do not do well with things where I cannot see an end in sight and often feel overwhelmed by them.  Instead, I have made some general goals for the next few months (I would say into about April or May) that I hope to accomplish.

1. Continue with hot yoga.  This has been the best thing I have added into my life since October.  It is a serious workout and I always feel so good after I do it.  I can’t really afford to do it more than once a week, but I have noticed a significant difference in muscle strength and definition since October!
2. Add more cardio into my life. I have not been doing enough cardio.  I would contribute it as part of the reason my weight loss progress has been stagnant lately.  I would like to add in about two to three days of 40 to 50 minutes of cardio each week.  I was doing it over the summer and just got lazy as the holidays approached.  I’m hoping now that school is done and I have more free time, this will become more of a reality.
3. Get my eating habits in check.  I’ve had a crazy two months, and my eating habits have gone down the drain.  Chocolate is a daily occurrence in excess and my body is definitely feeling it.  While I wish I could say I was just eating out of boredom, I contribute it a lot to emotional eating.  I stopped tracking the food I was eating around October, and have definitely just been maintaining my weight since then.  Its time to get back to tracking to lose the last thirty to forty pounds!
4. Stop weighing myself every single day.  I think this is a really bad habit I have.  On the one hand, it really keeps me in check when I have a bad night of eating.  On the other hand, it really messes with my head.  I seriously need to get back to weighing myself just once a week.
5. Save money. This is pretty self explanatory.  Without any debt or school taking up my time, I really need to work a lot and save some money.

Okay, so those are pretty cliche goals, I’m not going to lie.  However, I think that these are manageable goals for me.

This past year has made me invigorated about my life.  I feel such a sense of meaning, even if I don’t have a plan right now.

And the truth is, you just have to look at these pictures from 2010 and the end of 2011 to see the different woman.

2010

2011

Alright, I’m off for now! Hopefully there will be some delicious recipes coming your way in the future for you to try  I have a few ideas floating around in my head at the moment.

Have a wonderful Wednesday <3

I’m not going to lie, scones are typically not my favorite things. I have found that they are usually dry, not very flavorful, and only taste good when dipped in steaming hot coffee.

These scones are none of those things.

Cinnamon has recently become one of my favorite spices.  I seem to add it to everything I can lately.  I have one of those huge bulk containers of it from BJ’s and it has been disappearing quite quickly.  I also finally found cinnamon chips in my local grocery store. I used them last year in banana bread and loved them.

I wanted to make some sort of breakfast pastry recently because we’ve had a couple of really early days at work (oh the life of a retail associate around the holidays) and after searching out recipes on my computer, I came across this one.  I decided to give it a try and I am so happy I did.  These are delicious and were a huge hit a work.  They’re buttery and dense.

I think the key to making these successful is using really cold butter and full fat buttermilk.

Cinnamon Chip Scones
makes 12 to 16 scones
source unknown*

Ingredients
3 ¼ cups flour
⅓ cup sugar
2 ½ teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
¾ cup cold butter (1 ½ sticks)
1 cup full fat buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla
¾ cup cinnamon chip
1 ½ cups powdered sugar
½ teaspoon of cinnamon
1 to 2 tablespoons milk

Directions
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

In large bowl, combine dry ingredients. Cut in butter until it forms coarse crumbs. Make a well in center of dry ingredients and stir in buttermilk and vanilla. Fold in cinnamon chips gently.  Turn onto lightly floured surface and knead gently.**

Divide in half and pat into 7 inch round circles.  Cut into 6 or 8 wedges.

Bake at 425 for 12 to 15 minutes. Let scones cool on baking rack.

Combine powdered sugar and cinnamon. Add 1 tablespoon of milk and stir together.  The glaze should be on the thicker side but you should still be able to drizzle it.  Add more milk or powdered sugar to create desired consistency.  Drizzle over scones and enjoy!

*I don’t know where I found this recipe. If you recognize it and know the source, just let me know!

**When the dough is coming together in the bowl, it is quite crumbly.  I stirred it until most of the wet ingredients were absorbed, dumped it on the table, and put the dough together with my hands.  It takes a little work to make the dough stick together, so you will have to work with it, but just be gentle!  You don’t want the butter to become too warm while working the dough.

I hope you all have a great day! I’m off to make some sugar cookie dough and going to wait to sign for FedEx for my new iPhone  Also, Happy 1st night of Hanukkah <3

I could not have been more wrong.

For a very long time, I believed my choice to go to FIT was the worst decision I ever made in my life. I came home that summer and only two weeks before classes were too begin in the fall, I made the life changing decision not to return.  The details are not important, but what is important is that at that time I never felt more lost in my entire life.

All of those hopes and dreams: crushed.

I felt defeated.  I would spend the next two years dabbling in different majors and trying to force myself down a path I was not meant for.  I would put pressure on myself that only a practical degree was an option for me and not follow my heart.

Then last fall, everything fell apart and everything came together.

Its crazy how the times when you feel the most down, you really find yourself.  I realized what I loved.  Its not science.  Its not fashion merchandising.  Its not academia.

Its food.

That day in October, all I really knew at that moment was I love cooking and baking in a way I’ve never loved anything else in my life.  I feel happy and better about myself when I do it.  I have such a sense of accomplishment when I’m done.  It is never an obligation and I always want to do my best.

And no matter how smart I may be or how well I do in school, I never felt that way about anything there.  I always just felt like I was lingering there because I didn’t know what else to do.  And yes, I may have maintained a great GPA and wrote papers really well, but at the end of the day, that meant nothing to me. I never felt passionate about anything in school the way I saw my friends excited about their majors.

Deep down inside, I think I always knew I was meant to do something with food. It has been such a pain and joy in my life, I feel like I’m inexplicably tied to this object.  I know I may sound crazy, but when you realize things you love in life, I believe its a moment to treasure.

And today, I’m that much closer to doing what I love.  I am officially done with undergraduate forever.  Although I may have never found what I loved at school, I feel such a sense of accomplishment.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t think there were days where I didn’t think I was going to finish my degree.  I would be lying if I said I never felt envious of my friends who were off away at college living in a separate world while I chose to live at home, work, and go to school.  And I would also be lying if I said I was not proud of myself for finishing school.

I would not change anything that has happened to me the past four years…. changing schools, heartbreak, weight gain,  a sense of hopelessness, confusion, learning to pick yourself up, learning to be alone and be okay, losing weight, and happiness.  Everything I learned is invaluable and I know I am better off for going through rough times and sometimes having to face harsh realities.

I’m excited to see what comes.  I constantly have to remind myself I’m only twenty-two years old and I don’t have to have everything planned.  I don’t have to have the job I’m going to have the rest of my life.  I don’t have to be married with babies.  I don’t have to go to graduate school.

I can do whatever I want.

For now, I don’t have any particular long term goals.  I know I want to go to culinary school at some point, but I need a serious break from school right now.  If I went in the spring, I know my heart would not be in it completely.  I know I really want to travel, so at this point I think I’m going to try to save my money to do some serious travel in the next two years.

Who knows, anything can happen. The world is my oyster, right? ha

I cannot believe I never shared this delicious cake from Thanksgiving.  It was not a difficult cake to make  but very time consuming.  However the results were amazing and I highly reccommend this cake.

Also, if you’re a smartie like me, realize that it is a three layer cake, not a two layer cake.  There are even three layers in the cake pictured in the recipe I will link to so I don’t know how I could have bypassed this very important step.  For the life of me could not figure out why the cake was taking so long to bake and then I realized I only made two layers.

Opps!

That being said, if you only make it a two layer cake like I did, it will still be a delicious.  Go to Annie’s Eats to find the recipe

Okay, this blog post is short and sweet.  I am in the final week of undergraduate EVER and I could not be more thrilled.  Three papers and a final until I am a free woman.

(oh and then I guess I have to start being a real person or something?)

I hope you all have a wonderful week <3