I know it sounds unusual, but I always get sad right around this time every single year. Its kind of an odd time of year to feel down because the sun is out, spring is in the air, and the winter seems to be far behind.
However, I just can’t fight my sad feelings some days.
I binged tonight. Badly.
I haven’t done this in a few months, and it brings some sort of comfortable yet uncomfortable feeling inside of me. It almost makes me nostalgic in a weird way.
If you’ve never binged eaten, and I mean literally binge where you just put food in your mouth to feel something but not taste anything, you’ll know the downward feeling that comes after the high of binge eating. I’m there right now. I just feel… failure.
I think what I’ve learned the most over the past few months while losing weight is that regardless of what my current weight may be, I’m always going to struggle to not binge.
And now I’m sitting trying to take a deep breath and remind myself that things are okay.
I know that I’m not perfect, but I know that I’m no where near the emotional wreck I was two years ago.
I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay.